Three Easy Ways To Love Yourself More And Why It’s So Important
We keep hearing this advice more and more …”love yourself so you can love others better”…”fill up your own cup so you can fill others”….”put your own oxygen mask on first”.
If you’re a Mum or Business Owner (or both), with all the demands from others, it might seem impossible at times to even think about your own needs let alone cater for them.
And yet not doing so can negatively affect your life, your health and how you serve others. So why is it important and how can you begin to easily fit self-love into your day?
Let’s imagine for a moment, that inside you (psychologically speaking) is a little version of you. One who is around 3-4 years old, with all the fears, temper tantrums, love and playfulness that you would find in a child that age. That you had when you were that age.
When you are facing a new challenge, she is the one who feels the fear and needs reassuring. When something you don’t like happens, she is the one who wants to cry or stamp her foot. And when something makes “you” happy, She is the one that wants to sing, dance, laugh or jump up and down.
Here’s the thing. The more you can make your Inner Child feel secure, loved, supported and free to do fun things, the happier you and your life can become. Here are three ways you can begin to support your Inner Child, and have fun along the way!
Sing to your Inner Child
A very common practice we are told to do for self love is to say “I love you” in the mirror. For some this can come hard, and feel weird to start with. I for one love singing along to the lyrics of songs in the car (no mirrors involved) and it occurred to me that most love songs could actually become a song to the Inner Child. Carly Simon even states that she writes most of her material to sort out her own thoughts and problems and most writers probably do the same. Here are some suggestions:
Katy Perry’s “Firework” , John Legend’s “All of me” or for the more up-to-date reader, “Love you a little bit more” by JLS would make a good start, all great choruses. And hey, you probably have your own favourites! Just make sure they’re not sad love songs.
Talk to your Inner Child
Recognise that when you’re feeling anxious or angry, it’s your Inner Child thinking she has to do something scary or take control. You can allay her fears by tapping into your inner Adult. What would you say to a small child to reassure her in that moment? “It’s OK, I’ve got this” is a good start, or “we can do this together” How about “let’s make this fun?” just as you might if you were dealing with a small child in real life. You can also tell her “you’re so kind / beautiful / brave/clever” when you remember.
Show her signs she’s loved – a heart shape you notice in a coffee or on a pebble. Get a picture with the word “love” on it just for her. Draw yourself holding her hand or hugging her.
Have fun with your Inner Child
Remember the things you used to love doing as a child? Walking through woods, scrunching leaves under your feet, singing, dancing, colouring, skipping, painting (fill in the blank)? Going to an area of nature and looking at it for the first time, as if you were a child with no expectations about what a leaf, a petal, or a tree would look like.
Allow yourself to do those things again with your Inner Child, even if it’s just for 15 minutes between meetings / school runs to start with.
Find a replacement cuddly toy for the one you lost in childhood that made you feel safe, or find a new mascot (or two, or 3!) to comfort and support you and to have fun with. There are so many lovely fun toys out there now – the world is your Inner Child’s oyster!
Playing with your Inner Child will help you feel more refreshed and happy, and once she feels noticed and supported she’ll cause you fewer emotional meltdowns.
If you would like to feel more connected to your Inner Child, or more in love with yourself and your life, please do contact me for a no-obligation coaching session. You can also purchase my children’s story book written especially for your Inner Child here, and sign up for my FREE email course “10 Steps to Calm” from the sign-up form on my web site.
Vicki Tongeman is a Wife, Mother, Artist, Teacher, Author and Coach. She lives on the beautiful shores near the New Forest and loves walking and being mindful on the beach and in nature. Her friends call her the “Magic Mermaid” as she combines life changing coaching techniques with a sprinkle of Mermaid Magic!
As an NLP Practitioner and personal coach Vicki is passionate about helping people develop their inner self confidence and achieve their goals.